Tonight’s singer is a young country singer from Alabama. In this song a relationship has ended, and the other person is telling everyone it was all her fault. She doesn’t fight back. She says: if it helps you, blame me.
Learn from Songs · Unit 9a: Zero and first conditionals · B1–B2
If You Have To
Ella Langley’s gentle, honest country break-up song: if with an imperative (blame me if you have to), if it helps…, whatever / however, and idioms of blame (point the finger, pass the blame), with Philo, Sophia, Marcos and Demetria.
SOPHIA
DEMETRIA
That’s very generous. Or very sad.
SOPHIA
Maybe both. And the grammar is a conditional with an imperative: do this, if you have to. Very useful for permission and advice.
MARCOS
Give me your cake, if you have to share it.
Before you listen: the song
Nashville, 2021
Ella Langley grew up in Alabama, surrounded by music, and began writing songs as a teenager. She built her first audience on social media, sharing her songs online.
She previewed “If You Have To” on TikTok in 2021, and it became her first single with Columbia Records, streamed millions of times. A few years later her duet with Riley Green, “You Look Like You Love Me”, made her one of the brightest new stars in country music.
In the song, a relationship has ended. The other person is telling everyone that she was the bad one. She doesn’t argue: if it helps him to heal, he can blame her.
Sometimes letting someone be angry is a kind of kindness.
Listen: the permission
PHILO
Listen once. What does she let him do? Why?
SOPHIA
Listen to the piano. Then answer Section A.
🎹 Listen to the song: “If You Have To” (Ella Langley, 2021), by Ella Langley.Listen to the recording →
📜 Read the words while you listen: “If You Have To”, Ella Langley.Read the lyrics →
Imperative + if
MARCOS
Blame me if you have to. Call me if you need anything. Take my coat if you’re cold.
SOPHIA
imperative + if + present simple = permission, advice or an offer for a possible situation: Sit down if you’re tired. if you have to = if it is really necessary for you.
If it helps…
DEMETRIA
If it helps you sleep, I’ll stay quiet. Talk to me, if it helps.
SOPHIA
If it helps (you) + infinitive is a gentle, kind expression: Write it down if it helps you remember. Notice help + person + infinitive (without to is fine).
Whatever, however, wherever
PHILO
Do whatever makes it better. Paint me however you want. Go wherever you like.
SOPHIA
whatever = anything that; however = in any way; wherever = in any place. They give the other person freedom: Choose whatever you want.
Idioms of blame
MARCOS
point the finger at someone, pass the blame, take the blame, bend the truth, it’s my fault.
SOPHIA
point the finger at = accuse; pass the blame = make someone else responsible; take the blame = accept responsibility; bend the truth = not quite lie, but not tell the exact truth.
Sophia’s comparison: Abraham and Lot
PHILO
When the shepherds of Abraham and Lot quarrelled over the land, Abraham didn’t argue about who was right. He said: let there be no quarrel between us. If you go left, I’ll go right; if you go right, I’ll go left. He let Lot choose first.
SOPHIA
And the Stoics say: if someone speaks badly of you, don’t defend yourself. Just say: he doesn’t know my other faults, or he would have mentioned them too.
Sophia’s summary
| Words and forms | Use | Example |
|---|---|---|
| imperative + if + present | permission, advice, offer | Sit down if you’re tired. |
| if you have to | if it’s really necessary | Blame me if you have to. |
| if it helps (you) + infinitive | a kind offer | Write it down if it helps you remember. |
| whatever / however / wherever | any thing / way / place | Do whatever makes it better. |
| point the finger, take the blame | idioms of blame | She took the blame. |
Practice
Listen to the song for Section A, then do the rest. Press “Check my answers” at the end. You can try again as many times as you like.
A · Listen: the song
Listen to the song and choose the best answer.
1. What has happened in the song?
2. What is the other person doing?
3. How does she react?
4. Where is Ella Langley from?
5. Where did she first share the song?
6. Which duet made her a star later?
B · Grammar and vocabulary
Write the missing word or words.
7. Blame me if you to.
8. Call me you need anything.
9. Write it down if it you remember. (help)
10. Do makes it better. (anything that)
11. Don’t point the at me!
12. She took the for the mistake.
C · Right or wrong?
Is the sentence correct English?
13. “Sit down if you will be tired.”
14. “Choose whatever you want.”
15. “He passed the blame to his brother.”
16. “If it helps you to remembering, write it down.”
Talk and write
Discussion and writing
Kind offers. Make six kind offers to a partner with …if you… and …if it helps: Borrow my notes if you missed the lesson.
Discuss. 1. Is it kind or unwise to let someone blame you? 2. Why do people point the finger after a quarrel? 3. Can two people remember the same events differently and both be honest?
Write (100–120 words). Two sides of a story. Write about a quarrel from the point of view of someone who decides not to argue. Use imperative + if, if it helps, whatever and two blame idioms.
Now play the gamebook: a quarrel, two stories, and the truth in between.Play the gamebook →