Tonight’s song is about trust. A man asks his partner: after everything we’ve been through, how can you still doubt me?
Learn from Songs · Unit 9a: Zero and first conditionals · B1
If You Don’t Know Me by Now
A soul classic about trust: first conditionals with negatives (If you don’t trust me, you’ll never know me), by now, the present perfect for shared experience (We’ve been through so much), and unless, with Philo, Marcos, and a rumour that could end a friendship.
SOPHIA
PHILO
That’s a good question.
SOPHIA
And the answer is a conditional, with a negative.
DEMETRIA
Simply Red sang it too! My mother loves that version.
Before you listen: the song
Philadelphia, 1972
“If You Don’t Know Me by Now” was written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, the producers who created the smooth “Philadelphia soul” sound. They gave it to Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, whose lead singer, Teddy Pendergrass, had a deep, powerful voice. Pendergrass had started in the group as the drummer.
In 1972 it went to number one on the American R&B chart. In 1989, the British band Simply Red recorded it again, and their version went to number one in the USA. Their singer, Mick Hucknall, said he had danced to the original when he was thirteen.
In the song, a couple are arguing. The man says that they have been through so much together, good and bad, that his partner should understand him by now, and he is hurt that she still doubts him.
After all we’ve been through.
Listen: the argument
PHILO
Listen once. What is the problem between the couple? What does the man want?
SOPHIA
Then listen for if and by now. Answer Section A.
🤞 Listen to the song: “If You Don’t Know Me by Now” (Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, 1972), sung by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes.Listen to the official recording →
📜 Read the words while you listen: “If You Don’t Know Me by Now”, Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes.Read the lyrics →
First conditional with negatives
DEMETRIA
If you don’t ask him, you’ll never know. If you believe gossip, you won’t have real friends.
SOPHIA
If + don’t / doesn’t + verb, will / won’t + verb. And never with will: If you don’t try, you’ll never succeed. Remember: no will in the if-clause.
By now, been through
MARCOS
You should know me by now. We’ve been through so much.
SOPHIA
by now = at this point, after all this time: He should be here by now. go through = experience something difficult: They went through a hard time. Present perfect: have been through.
Unless and trust
PHILO
Don’t believe a rumour unless you’ve checked it. Friendship is based on trust.
SOPHIA
unless = if not. Vocabulary: to trust / to doubt / a rumour / gossip / to spread a rumour / to let someone down / to stand by someone.
Sophia’s comparison: Damon and Pythias
SOPHIA
In Syracuse, the tyrant Dionysius condemned Pythias to death. His friend Damon offered to stay in prison in his place while Pythias went home to say goodbye. If Pythias did not return, Damon would die. Pythias came back. The tyrant was so amazed that he freed them both.
PHILO
And David and Jonathan: Jonathan trusted David even when his own father, King Saul, told him David was his enemy.
DEMETRIA
So true friends trust each other, even when others whisper.
Sophia’s summary
| Words and forms | Use | Example |
|---|---|---|
| If + don’t, will / won’t | first conditional with negatives | If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. |
| will never + verb | strong negative future | You’ll never know me. |
| by now | at this point, after all this time | You should know me by now. |
| have been through | shared difficult experience | We’ve been through so much. |
| unless | if not | Don’t believe it unless you’ve checked. |
Practice
Listen to the song for Section A, then do the rest. Press “Check my answers” at the end. You can try again as many times as you like.
A · Listen: the song
Listen to the song and choose the best answer.
1. What is the song about?
2. What does the man say they have been through?
3. What does he think his partner should do by now?
4. Who sang lead on the original?
5. Which British band made it a US number one in 1989?
6. What kind of music is it?
B · Grammar and vocabulary
Write the missing word or words.
7. If you ask him, you’ll never know. (negative)
8. If you believe gossip, you never have real friends.
9. You should know me now.
10. We’ve been so much together.
11. Don’t believe it you’ve checked it. (if not)
12. Friendship is based trust.
C · Right or wrong?
Is the sentence correct English?
13. “If you won’t trust me, I’ll leave.”
14. “He should be here by now.”
15. “We have gone through a lot of problems last year.”
16. “Unless you hurry, you’ll miss the boat.”
Talk and write
Discussion and writing
Trust. In pairs, discuss: What will happen if you don’t trust your friends? What will happen if you believe every rumour?
Discuss. 1. Have you ever believed a rumour that wasn’t true? 2. How can you rebuild trust? 3. Which version do you prefer, the original or Simply Red’s?
Write (100–120 words). Advice about trust. Write advice for someone who has heard a rumour about their best friend, using first conditionals with don’t, unless and never.
Now play the gamebook: Philo, Marcos, and a rumour.Play the gamebook →