Tonight’s song is a game everyone has played: what would you do if you had a million dollars?
Learn from Songs · Unit 9b: Second conditional · B1
If I Had a Million Dollars
A funny song about everything you would buy if you were rich: the second conditional (If I had a million dollars, I’d buy…), What would you do if…?, could and might in the result, and I wish I had…, with Marcos, and a purse full of silver on the beach.
SOPHIA
MARCOS
I’d buy a horse! And a boat! And…
SOPHIA
You see? You already know the song. The singers list everything they’d buy: some sensible, some completely ridiculous.
DEMETRIA
Like Marcos.
Before you listen: the song
Toronto, 1988–1992
Barenaked Ladies are a Canadian band famous for their humour. Two of the members, Steven Page and Ed Robertson, wrote this song when they were very young, and played it at almost every concert from 1988 onwards. It appeared on their first album, Gordon, in 1992, and became a favourite all over Canada, even though it never had an official video.
Because of one line about a cheap Canadian macaroni dinner, fans began throwing boxes of macaroni at the band during the song. The band asked them to stop, and to bring the boxes to the concerts instead, so they could be given to food banks for people in need.
In the song, the two singers take turns to list what they would buy if they had a million dollars: a house, furniture, presents, exotic things, silly things. And they would buy the person they love anything, though they admit that money wouldn’t really buy love.
If I had a million dollars…
Listen: the shopping list
PHILO
Listen once. What would they buy? Which things are sensible, and which are silly?
SOPHIA
Then listen for If I had and I’d. Answer Section A.
💰 Listen to the song: “If I Had $1000000” (Steven Page and Ed Robertson, Barenaked Ladies, 1992).Find the recording on YouTube →
📜 Read the words while you listen: “If I Had a Million Dollars”, Barenaked Ladies.Read the lyrics →
Second conditional: imaginary situations
DEMETRIA
If I had a million, I’d buy a house. If I were rich, I wouldn’t work.
SOPHIA
If + past simple, would + base verb: imaginary or very unlikely situations. The short form I’d is very common in speech. Never would in the if-clause: If I would have is wrong.
What would you do if…?
MARCOS
What would you do if you won the lottery? Where would you go if you could travel anywhere?
SOPHIA
A perfect question for conversation: What / Where / Who would you… if…? Answer with I’d… or I wouldn’t…
Could, might; I wish I had
PHILO
If I had money, I could travel. I might buy a boat. I wish I had a horse.
SOPHIA
could = would be able to; might = would perhaps. And I wish + past simple for a wish about the present: I wish I had more time. I wish I were taller. (More about wishes in Unit 9d!)
Sophia’s comparison: King Midas
SOPHIA
King Midas asked the god Dionysus for one wish: that everything he touched would turn to gold. It was wonderful, until he tried to eat his bread, and hug his daughter.
PHILO
And King Solomon: God asked him what he wanted, and instead of riches, he asked for wisdom. So God gave him wisdom, and riches too.
DEMETRIA
So be careful what you wish for.
Sophia’s summary
| Words and forms | Use | Example |
|---|---|---|
| If + past simple, would + verb | second conditional: imaginary situations | If I had a million, I’d buy a house. |
| What would you do if…? | asking about imaginary situations | What would you do if you were rich? |
| could / might | would be able to / would perhaps | I could travel. I might buy a boat. |
| I wish + past simple | a wish about now | I wish I had a horse. |
| would / wouldn’t | result, positive and negative | I wouldn’t stop working. |
Practice
Listen to the song for Section A, then do the rest. Press “Check my answers” at the end. You can try again as many times as you like.
A · Listen: the song
Listen to the song and choose the best answer.
1. What is the song about?
2. What kind of things do they list?
3. Where are Barenaked Ladies from?
4. What did fans throw at the band?
5. What happened to the boxes in the end?
6. Does the song say money can buy love?
B · Grammar and vocabulary
Write the missing word or words.
7. If I a million dollars, I’d buy a house. (have)
8. If I were rich, I buy a boat.
9. What would you do if you the lottery? (win)
10. If I had money, I travel the world. (would be able to)
11. I wish I a horse. (have, now)
12. If I were rich, I stop working. (negative)
C · Right or wrong?
Is the sentence correct English?
13. “If I would have money, I’d buy a car.”
14. “What would you do if you found a fortune?”
15. “If I won the lottery, I will travel.”
16. “I wish I had more free time.”
Talk and write
Discussion and writing
The million game. In pairs, take turns, like the song: If I had a million, I’d buy… / If I had a million, I’d buy you… The sillier the better!
Discuss. 1. Would money make you happy? 2. What would you do with a million to help other people? 3. What do you think of the fans’ idea of giving the macaroni to food banks?
Write (80–100 words). If I had a million. Write what you would buy for yourself, for your family, and for people in need. Use would, could, might and one I wish sentence.
Now play the gamebook: Marcos and the purse on the beach.Play the gamebook →