The last man on the road to Athens is the politest of all. He offers you dinner, and a bed.
Theseus: The Road to Athens · C2
Labour Six: The Bed of Procrustes
Concision, collocation, fixed phrases, idiom, ellipsis after think and suspect, let alone, little did, and inverted conditionals: the fine art of C2 English, for the most sinister host in Greece and a cup of poisoned wine in Athens.
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SOPHIA
DEMETRIA
That’s suspicious.
The story
After the old stories of Theseus
Legend has it that Procrustes owned not one bed, but two: a short one and a long one. Every guest paid a heavy price for a night’s hospitality: if he was too long for the bed, Procrustes cut him down to size; if he was too short, he stretched him. He had got it down to a fine art.
Wisely, Theseus regarded his host’s generosity with suspicion. Did anyone ever fit the bed? I suspect not. No traveller had ever escaped the bed, let alone defeated its owner. Theseus made Procrustes fit his own bed.
At last Theseus reached Athens. Little did the old king Aegeus know that the stranger at his table was his own son. Medea, the king’s wife, had put poison in the stranger’s wine.
Just as Theseus lifted the cup, Aegeus saw the sword at his side, his own sword from under the rock in Troezen, and knocked the cup away. Had Theseus drunk that wine, Athens would have lost its future king.
Concision
PHILO
“His inn was located in a place that was situated close to the road” is twice as long as it needs to be. “His inn stood by the road.”
SOPHIA
At C2, less is more. Cut words that repeat (located / situated), and prefer a precise verb to a long phrase: stood, not was located in a place.
Collocations and fixed phrases
MARCOS
They paid a heavy price. Not a big price.
SOPHIA
English likes certain words together: pay a heavy price, regard with suspicion, legend has it that…, get it down to a fine art. You can’t replace them with synonyms.
Ellipsis: I suspect not; let alone
DEMETRIA
“Did anyone ever fit the bed?” “I suspect not.”
SOPHIA
After think, hope, suspect, expect, be afraid, so and not replace a whole clause. And let alone after a negative introduces something even less likely: nobody escaped, let alone won.
Little did he know; Had he drunk
PHILO
Little did Aegeus know. And: Had Theseus drunk the wine, Athens would have lost its king.
SOPHIA
Two literary inversions. Little did + subject + verb = he didn’t know at all. And Had + subject + past participle replaces if in a formal third conditional.
A new word
DEMETRIA
And when a rule forces very different things into one rigid shape, we call it procrustean.
SOPHIA
English kept his name. It is still used in law and politics: a procrustean system.
Sophia’s summary
| Form | Use | From the story |
|---|---|---|
| concision | say it once, precisely | His inn stood by the road. |
| collocations | words that go together | pay a heavy price, regard with suspicion |
| I suspect not / I think so | ellipsis | Did anyone fit? I suspect not. |
| let alone | something even less likely | Nobody escaped, let alone won. |
| Little did + subject + verb | literary inversion | Little did he know… |
| Had + subject + pp | formal third conditional | Had he drunk it, … |
Practice
Answer all the questions, then press “Check my answers”. You can try again as many times as you like.
A · Choose
Choose the best form.
1. ___ that the king kept two beds.
2. Every guest paid a ___ price.
3. Theseus regarded the offer ___ suspicion.
4. “Will Procrustes sleep well tonight?” — “I suspect ___.”
5. Nobody survived one night, ___ two.
6. ___ did Aegeus know who the stranger was.
B · Write
Write the missing word.
7. Theseus drunk the wine, he would have died. (inverted if)
8. He had got his cruelty down to a fine .
9. A rule that forces everything into one rigid shape is .
10. “Is the wine safe?” “I don’t think .”
C · Which is best?
Which sentence is the best C2 English?
11. Choose the most concise.
12. “Had he known, he would have fled.”
13. “Little Aegeus knew who the stranger was.”
Now play Labour Six yourself, as a guest of Procrustes.Play the gamebook →